The Two Types of Tired.

I have become convinced in recent weeks that there are two types of being tired.

There is no detailed  evidence or research for this, nor have I done any background reading to support my claims. The closest I have to empirical information for this is my own feelings based upon two time frames.

Firstly the long drawn out winter months of marking tests, coursework and books. That draining work based tired that is more tiredness of the soul. Any student who has completed a caffeine sponsored dissertation or essay before getting up the next day for lectures and submission knows this feeling. It is the tiredness born out of work. That is to say a tiredness forced upon you because you had to get something done for someone else.

This is guess is one of the main gripes people have about work/life balances. You work hard for someone else, you get tired for someone else and you make sacrifices for someone else and in the most cynical of statements the then ask you to repeat this process ad infinitum. This is the tiredness that you can't shake. Like stale cigarette smoke on your clothes from days before the smoking ban, even when you wash you still feel it - that morning shower doesn't truly shake it. It''s also true to say that the rest of your life can be seen through the fog of this tired. Food becomes an escape something to comfort eat to make you feel happier and activities get reduced down to sitting in front of TV to 'unwind'. Occasional forays into midweek entertainment (gigs, cinema, meals out etc) seem to elevate the burden of the work tired but you know, somewhere in the recesses of you mind that work looms.

This all sounds thoroughly gloomy and downbeat but as a teacher my colleagues and I know this well. The week before a school holiday morning conversations are very similar 'morning, I am so tired today! Still one week to go.' Or words to this effect. Perversely one week into the new term and conversations run along the lines of 'I am so tired already, feel like I never had a holiday'.

Try spotting this now you know of it, I guarantee the amount of times people talk about being tired will surprise you. This by the way is called the Baader-Meinhof phenomena - once we are aware of something we spot it more often because our minds are alerted to it.  

So, the work based feeling of being exhausted and mentally drained is pretty horrific and common.

However there is a second, deeper level of tiredness. The tiredness of exercise.

I have felt this before during my ultra marathon training but having been cycling and not running for nearly two years I think my mind buried these feelings deep and hidden somewhere. This however has all changed in the last few weeks.

This actually begins at Christmas and a 'gift' of a triathlon entry. So far so good, a thank you for the gift and a move on to other cycling adventures. However for some reason over the last month it started to dawn on me that training for this might actually have to happen. This was crystallised by a painful duathlon experience. The 3 mile run was slow and plodding but not too painful, the 15 mile ride again was fine (although I miss counted by two laps), All of which means my training has significantly increased in the past few weeks.

It was a case of very little exercise all week and probably a ride on a Friday night, maybe a ride or run at some point over the weekend.

This was a huge change from commuting in on the bike 3/4 times a week and a long weekend ride either off road or on over the weekend. At first I hadn't physically felt much my fitness or physique slipping away. However very quickly (once training again) I have noticed how far away from where I felt I was that I am.

That is to say I have gotten a bit fat and wheezy.

So first thing to go was booze. Not for any major training reason but the extra calories in my beloved pale ales and porters where just something I could do without. I also switched my meals around a bit focusing on energy shakes in the morning and recovery shakes after exercise - all made with fresh ingredients and no powders etc. The final change was one really that was more for the benefit of my girlfriend and so dairy and gluten have been slashed from the diet. This has been replaced with way more vegetables and protein rich foods.

The other significant change has been in my sleeping habits. For a long time I would wake up at 4:30 and roll over and sleep again until my alarm went off at 6 and then drag myself out of bed to get ready for work any time between 6 am and 6:30 and aim to be on the road by 7. However one issue with upping a training regime is fitting in training around 'real' life. Often work has to be done at home and my evenings are already pretty busy as it is - and this is without having any children or animals demanding extra time of me. There is a lot of my job that I ignore or try to get done during 'office hours' but there is always some overspill, meaning a training plan in the evenings is not something I can 100% commit to.

This has meant getting up at 5am to go for a run or a ride/run combo at least 3 times a week in order to get some exercise in. On the most part the early starts have been exciting and fun and starting the day with exercise is a very satisfying way to go about things. None of these early morning sessions are of an extreme intensity and none last longer than 50 minutes. However they are noticeable in that I am already starting to feel much fitter and my /km times are starting to drop.

In addition to this I have been swimming more and more regularly. Going from 1 session a week to 3 swims and a pretty busy race calendar coming up, not only in order to practice and get used to the water but also to keep the motivation going for when I start feeling the strain of doing extra.

To avoid burnout I have aimed to progressively increase distance and intensity of sessions so that I am pushing to 75-80% each time (a HR monitor watch has been invaluable for this) and then be able to go back out the next day. I have also factored in rest days to allow my body to recover and rebuild from the previous few days exertions and catch up on work/life that has been moved slightly while I train.

However.

I still feel bloody tired all the time.

Yet this is a different tiredness. OK so it is still exhaustion and a feeling of being ruined, but it is not so much a mental weariness. It is firmly in my arms and legs and general body. It is a feeling of pushing yourself and trying to find the next place to go to keep on moving.

And it feels good.

Obviously the body chemistry inside me is going mental, endorphins and dopamine are being produced continually and hurling themselves around, I can't wait to get back into the water and swim again because it scares the hell out of me and has a huge danger element to it. I can't wait to get back out running because afterwards when you finish a session and your lungs are burning and your feet are sore, well you feel like a hero. A euphoric high if you will.

As always any excuse to get out on the bike is easy to take - cycling is the greatest.

So this is the point (as ever, if there is one) the first type of tiredness comes from work and mental fatigue and is hard to shake because it makes your life feel like it is on rails. A mind numbing procession from from Monday to Friday only stopping to eat some food, watch some TV and climb in and out of bed.

The second is far more exciting, that is to organise your time differently and really go for something, lock-stock, and make yourself tired for you. For doing the things your enjoy and roll with that feeling of tiredness because you know that the reason for being so ruined is worth it, that you can't wait to get to that stage again because it makes you feel in control, free, alive.

In the battle of the two types of tired I know which side I would pitch my tent. Only you won't find me in it, I will be out on my bike (any excuse!).