The fear.

Any excuse to start with this.

Originally this was a post that I had intended to write about the fear in mountain biking and how actually a little bit of fear is a good thing.

Well I have work do to in preparing year 11's for exams so seems like the best time to write it is now...

The point was going to be that yes, there are times when crippling fear is counter productive.

Where freezing when skipping over roots and slamming on the brakes, which may seem a logical thing to do, actually is really a bad move. A really bad move, like telling your partner what you really think of that outfit is a bad move! Suddenly all grip goes and you slide and skid your way down something slowly and struggle to find purchase when you inevitably have to put your feet down.

Likewise approaching a drop that when you get to the edge of it seems much more of a void than you originally believed and 'oh no' you scrub all speed and topple like a drunken baby lamb over the drop and just about cling to the bike as it bounces front end first on the floor of the trail.

Again in both of these examples you think that grabbing the brakes are the right thing to do, sometimes it is, however in most cases this safety blanket is actually more dangerous than just going for it.

In the case of roots a lack of rotating tyre actually removes the grip that you should have meaning you are no longer sticking and drops are easier if you hit them at speed and try to land both wheels together on the other side. Which I know in theory but am still yet to master instead resorting to go go gadget arms to get me out of trouble way more than I should - really bad form.

However there are plenty of occasions where the fear is a good thing.

It is the fear that means when you come to a berm you slow down in plenty of time in order to take the corner safely. It is the fear that means that you don't push beyond what you know you can do and stay rubber side down. Which as anyone who has ever done a huge bin will tell you is always preferable to picking your self and your bike out of a bush after flying off the trail. In most cases a lot of crashes are because either a) you lost concentration or b) you pushed beyond your means and came a cropper.

So in mountain biking a balance between the fear and fearlessness is really important. It helps keep us safe but also allows for those beautiful neuro-chemicals to be released (dopamine, endorphins and adrenaline) so that we have that natural high at the end of a ride -a little bit of fear goes a long way in enjoyment.

However that article never really got written, which I guess it has now, but never mind! Instead the fear is now related to my triathlon training.

Fear for me in this sport takes the following forms;

1. The open water swim and being able to cover the distance and not flounder and sink.
2. The open water swim and looking down at the deep, dark, murky depths.
3. Bricking my legs after the ride.
4. Blowing up on the final run and vomiting all over the world before crying and collapsing in a heap.

This fear is real people, and it is terrifying. 

I no longer think of the fear as being some safety net, instead it is pure boiled crippling, pit of the stomach I can't do this, cold sweat fear. 

The kind of fear you had on your driving test, or on a first date when you know you are punching way above your league. 

Which means that as someone who is training to constantly improve times and actually try and be half decent well the fear is something I have to overcome. Unlike my fear of heights which is totally rational and keeps me nice and safe at all times!

However if life and movies have taught me anything (not sure they really have though) it is that fear can be reduced (though never defeated) with training and exposure. So as a result the following has been part of my training.

1. The open water swim and being able to cover the distance and not flounder and sink. Swim as often as possible, I have done a splash and dash covering 750m swim and 5k run as an event. I try and swim at least 750m in ever session and know that I can swim much further in open water when defaulting down to breaststroke. This has built my confidence in the open water swim and I now feel much more comfortable when swimming.
2. The open water swim and looking down at the deep, dark, murky depths. Again there is nothing like getting in the water for this. I had a lesson on my breathing technique which made the swim much more comfortable, however an upshot of this (and getting breathing on both sides) is that I HAVE to look down. In churned up water (like on a race day) this is not so bad because I can focus on my rhythm and breathing. However on a clear watered training day. Still a little bit terrifying. 
3. Bricking my legs after the ride. Up early in the morning, quick blast on the bike to get the legs moving (40 minutes at least) followed by a run straight after racking the bike. While this may not prepare my legs for the bricking that could happen following a longer bike ride it at least is getting my body used to the differing groups being used in quick succession. I still need to practice going for a longer ride before a longer run. 
4. Blowing up on the final run and vomiting all over the world before crying and collapsing in a heap. Early morning runs before breakfast (fasted runs). Luckily I have a park near my flat with a 400m running track. Slowly I have started to extend the run and am now able to shabbily amble a nice 5k in the mornings - takes about 35 minutes. This is I feel pretty handy training to avoid this and also a good way to get up and going in the morning (as much as 5 am starts seems a bit shite).

So there goes the fear? Well, no not quite, see the fear is something that has to exist in sport. Where mountain biking, triathlon or darts (yes a sport - game of physical skill).

There has to be a fear of failure, there has to be a fear for your safety and a fear of embarrassment, probably other forms of fear which I am too scared to mention.

Otherwise why do it? The enjoyment factor is not enough, because without fear the enjoyment is diminished. There is is nothing to overcome. So while it is a good thing to reduce the fear so that it does not dominate you or reduce your capacity to perform and compete there also has to be some remaining, nagging fear to keep you moving forward. And safe. See while confidence in your abilities is a really good way of staying safe as well I believe (and people may disagree with me) that confidence and fear have to be balanced. Yes if you are confident you will just go out there and do it, and in most cases that is probably enough. However in sports like mountain biking and open water swimming there has to be a caution to your activity. That comes from fear. 

Long live the fear? maybe, mostly though I guess is an acceptance that the fear serves a purpose. A re-imagining of fear as not being negative. Fear can be positive. 

If we start thinking of fear as being something positive, an odd concept I know but one that is not beyond the truly insane levels of imagination we possesses, then surely we can begin to use it more constructively in our preparation and training. 

So yeah, lets make a little fear a good thing, a driving force for improvement and keeping us happy and safe in our activities. 

Which I guess I said right at the beginning...

Oh.